Monday, February 21, 2011

you just don't understand.

Have you ever said the words you just don't understand? I have. I do.

Ok, so this blog topic is not an Original one. My sister and friend, Melody-Katherine, (From His Point of view) wrote on this topic first. (Click here to Read "Never Alone") But her post inspired me to write one.

A while ago, I had a friend who I had been with since I was born, leave me all alone in the dust for another best friend. I was really hurt! We had been amazing friends, but then, I don't know what happened. Maybe I wasn't cool enough or something. I cried myself to sleep every night. I had told this friend EVERYTHING and it hurt when she left. I was sad. I was mad. I was devastated. I even wrote a poem to try and convict her of what I thought she did wrong. I felt like no one understood. It still hurts to see her. Especially when she with her other friends. I miss her, but I don't.

Even as I'm typing this I'm wondering.... will anyone even understand? I hope you do. I felt like no one understood. I told no one about the pain I was feeling. I only  told God and even though I wish I could say to her, "I hate you" I can't. God is slowly healing my heart. He can heal yours too.

And if you're wondering if anyone out there who understands, there is. His name is Jesus, AKA God almighty. He cares. He knows every part of you. He knit you together. He made your mind, body and spirit. He breathed life into you. He understands, even when no one else does.

I hope you understand my point.

Lots of love,
The Black Swan

Friday, February 18, 2011

You Matter

Do you feel worthless and unneeded? No, this is not a commercial for a teen help line. This is a real question. I think that everyone does at some point in their life. sometimes they act on it and hurt themselves or go even more drastic then that. Some people find the strength or just keep putting one foot in front of the other, like Jesus wants us too. 

My friend, Melody of "From His Point of View" ( and I have been reading Romans. We read a chapter a day and we've been at it for nine days. Well, last night as I read Romans 9, I came across a passage that almost made me cry. Romans 9:27 says

 If each grain of sand on the seashore were numbered
      and the sum labeled "chosen of God,"
   They'd be numbers still, not names;
      salvation comes by personal selection.
   God doesn't count us; he calls us by name.
      Arithmetic is not his focus.

This is a promise that I will hold onto for the rest of my life. Don't you think that if God, the creator of EVERYTHING (the planets, the stars, animals, you.... the list goes on and on...) calls your name that you're worth something? Jesus still would have died if you were the only person on the planet. That's how much he loves you. So tell me... Do you feel worthless and unneeded now?

Black Swan

Thursday, February 17, 2011

His love

What do you think of when you hear the word "love"? though it changes everyday for me, today I think of the following. This morning as I was getting ready for the day, my family's two little dogs (we have 4 dogs, two big, two small) Baby and Trilli came to greet me. They began wiggling and going crazy! They absolutely love being with me and playing with me, even if I don't really pay attention or give them the unconditional love they give me. They just love being near me. That reminded me of our relationship with God. He always wants to be with us. He always is with us.
He wants us to spend time with him and love him the way he loves us. I know how much my puppies love me.... How much more does He love us? I cannot begin to comprehend the love He has for us. God is so simple yet so unexplainable. Even though he never changes, He's constantly showing himself to me more and more and He just keeps getting Bigger and Bigger, Better and Better and So much More wonderful!
I hope this makes sense to all of you out there!

Black Swan

*I found the above picture By searching "puppy love" on Bing. Here's the image url:

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Hello World!

well Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I'm ready for it. Welcome to my world. Not only is it February 15th, 2011 but it's the first day the laneracignadelitalia is up and running. My goal is to write atleast once everyday. I'm quite excited :) you might be wondering what my url means to me. Well it's quite simple. La Nera Cigna Del'Italia simply means The Black Swan of Italy. And a bit of background on my name: One day one of my besties and I were in a silly mood and we made nicknames for each other. She was Cheetah Girl and I was Black Swan (She is SUPER FAST when she runs and I'm SUPER clumsy (typical blonde) except when I'm on skates or in ballet slippers). So now that you know that, there are a few things you should know about me:
1) I am God's Princes and he is my King
2) I have ALOT of best friends :)
3) roller skating and dancing and gymnastics are fun to do and to watch
4) I love to sing, read, write (songs, poems,stories, etc) and working with animals (or just staring at them) and falling more and more in love with God every day I'm alive (now you have the name backgound too!)

I'll try and post more later but in my crazy world, who knows if I'll time :)

black swan