Let me be frank with you- I've never viewed myself as beautiful. I often feel average, fat, ugly, the list goes on and on. (and on and on and on and on and...) When I looked in the mirror, I saw a girl with pain. I realize what caused that pain. LIES.
When I looked in the mirror sans-makeup, I felt as plain as a grain of sand in a seashore of mother of pearl shells. I envied my best friend because I she has perfect skin, perfect hair and a perfect face. Did I mention the perfect body? And, would you believe it, SHE thinks she's ugly. We've all believed a lie.
I've been told I was beautiful. I know I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. I knew everything the Church, my parents and this twisted world taught me. And I believed the WORLD.
Until Last night.
As I mentioned in the post Made for Beauty, I've been reading a book called uncompromising by Hannah Farver. You know what's funny? I almost didn't get this book because I didn't want to spend the money, BUT I broke down and spent the $12 (or was it $13?) because I felt a tug on me to get it. I was reading it last night (Chapter 4, the Beauty cause) and all of the sudden I felt weak, yet strong at the same time. These words left me breathless:
God formed you.
I"m sure you've heard it all before. some people brush it off, as I did. But think about this Before a blanket was wrapped around your tiny body, before you were concieved before God created the stars and the moon and the earth, God had carefully formed evey hair, shaped every toe, curved each tiny eyebrow of your body. He took you into his hands, caressed your tiny cheeks, curled every eyelash, placed every pore on your skin.
He cares that much.
Chew on that for a while.
Black Swan
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